New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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