She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
