doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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