none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you still have your period?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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