ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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