Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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