only you would photoshop your dick
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize