you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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