I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
