i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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