I feel like I'm in dance class right now
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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