Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the day after is always just damage control
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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