It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
