He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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