You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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