you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
