remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
