Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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