My friends, they love my intelligence
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
