used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
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She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
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...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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