i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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