we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
