i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize