I'm drive I can fine osifer
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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