i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
