Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
