its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
