I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
