i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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