She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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