Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
