You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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