Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
