someone get that fucking seahorse.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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