Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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