its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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