Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
