She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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