I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
