I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize