I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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