before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
