My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
