i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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