she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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