he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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