Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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