Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What drink are we having for lunch?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
