On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
