No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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