..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
