Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
