the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i drank out of a bidet.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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