oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize