When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
