You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just threw up on my dentist
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
