Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
