Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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