guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
