I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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