Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
